Critique My Query Letter

The process of getting a book published, especially under current economic conditions, might just be impossible unless you have a massive 'platform' as they call it in the publishing world.  It seems to a certain extent that content means less than who you are, your readily available promotional aresenal, and your credentials.  It is obvious why these things are important.  It is obvious that they can help sell books.  BUT, I would read something that is well-written by someone I had never heard of or seen on TV before I'd pick up some drivel by people like Bill O' Reilly or Sean Hannity.  Their 'best-sellers' suck.  They are written pretty much at a third grade level, but since they have a platform and an audience hovering around third grade intelligence, they make millions pushing bad writing.

Am I bitter?  No, I stop being bitter about three months ago when it was clear that my book would go nowhere.  So now I have decided to make use of the query letter I had blasted to well over one hundred literary agents during the later part of last year.  A few wanted the proposal.  A couple even liked it.  All said they could not sell it.

But, for those writers out there still trying to 'make something out of nothing,' maybe critiquing my unsuccessful query will help improve yours.  So, have at it. And don't worry about being nice.  I lost the battle already.  And I am used to it.

Dear. XX. XXX

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For the last three years, I have spent significant time in the sort of urban neighborhood most people avoid.  Hanging Out in Skid Row will chronicle the experiences I had participating in daily life in a Downtown Los Angeles neighborhood facing gentrification and intense LAPD scrutiny.  Widely considered little more than a homeless enclave, I uncover a curiously social environment in Skid Row that will change the way we view the poor and homeless.  Hanging Out in Skid Row is a series of stories from the street, detailing the lives of a wide and eclectic array of characters. 

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Think Sidewalk meets Gang Leader for a Day with passionate storytelling alongside thoughtful interpretation and analysis.  Hanging Out in Skid Row will benefit from association with the best-selling book and forthcoming movie, The Soloist.

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After a twelve year career as XXX, I received my BA in XX from XXX University.  I began conducting my research in Skid Row as a doctoral student at the University of XXX.  Disenchanted with academia, I left my PhD program despite publishing peer-reviewed academic articles and securing government funding for my inquiry in Skid Row.  I wanted to work more closely to the ground (I now write grants for non-profits) and craft Hanging Out in Skid Row free from the confines of the scholarly vacuum.

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I understand that selling a book involves more than interesting research and good writing.  I am prepared to use the promotional and public speaking skills, contacts, and name recognition I developed in radio to make Hanging Out in Skid Row a success.  From bookstores to radio and TV stations to university classrooms and civic organizations, I will spread the word about the book prior to, upon, and after publication.

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I hope to have the opportunity to submit my 45-page proposal to you, which includes a sample chapter.  I also understand you are searching for clients who view writing as a career, not merely a one-book deal.  I am in this for the long haul and want to hit the ground running after Hanging Out in Skid Row is complete.  I have follow-up ideas!

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Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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Sincerely,